dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
