That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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