somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
