i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
