we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize