Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
handjob tips. give me some.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
