My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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