umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
