i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
