yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
