I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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