i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
