Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
barbara walters just said penis...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
