She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
