bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
