We're facebook friends in real life
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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