Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
