Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
