At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
