I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
