smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
