I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
