I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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