What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
