am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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