My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
