sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
