with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
