My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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