I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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