Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
