he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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