I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
