I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
