We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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