stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
