Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
