Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
