I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize