that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize