No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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