Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
