Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize