Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
