Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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