i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
