YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
