just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
