I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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