A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
