Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize