I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This baby is an asshole
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize