Are we in a gay sports bar?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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