I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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