yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
