Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
