Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
