32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
